A Chaos Story Parody
by LeaderofBrooklyn
Summary: I mean no offense to anybody who has actually written a Chaos story. This story was badly written on purpose. Bleach and trashcan not included. WARNINGS: may cause you to suffer blindness and an urge to throw up.


**So, yesterday I browsed the PJO fandom looking for any good stories to read. I noticed that it hadn't changed that very much since I last went on it (about two, three years). But there was one change that I noticed.**

**The "Chaos" stories have increased dramatically. I can't go through one single page without seeing them. **

**Now, when I was a naïve young girl who was still new to the world of Fanfiction, I didn't mind them. But I noticed one thing that they all had in common, THEY'RE ALL EXACTLY THE SAME. **

**I decided to make a parody of my own this time.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own PJO. **

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**Part 1: Percy's New (Jerk) Brother**

"Okay campers," Chiron happily announced. "We have a new camper coming in today."

Murmurs of excitement broke out from the crowd of demigods.

"I would like to introduce you to Chad Bender!"

A ridiculously handsome guy instantly appeared at Chiron's side. He had a bright smile and chiseled muscles. Not only that, he had black locks of hair and had green eyes. The very presence of him ignited feelings of jealousy from the guys and feelings of love from the girls.

"Hey, that Chad guy sort of looks like me," Percy told to Annabeth.

Annabeth wasn't listening to him, she was busy swooning at Chad Bender. "Oh, Percy he's so handsome isn't he?"

Percy felt an overwhelming sadness growing in his heart. "But Annabeth…we're dating aren't we?"

Before Annabeth could answer, Poseidon appeared.

At that very moment Poseidon, god of the seas, appeared on the camp grounds.

"Demigods!" Poseidon boomed. "Chad Bender here is my son." He patted Chad on the shoulder. "He's a very powerful demigod and he is destined for greatness. From now on Chad Bender is my favorite child!" Poseidon then disappeared in puff of smoke.

The crowd of demigods cheered and lifted up Chad on their shoulders.

"Go Chad! Go Chad! Go Chad!"

Feeling dejected, Percy sulkily walked back to his cabin all alone. The other campers were too busy admiring the greatness of what is Chad to even notice him.

"Don't worry," Percy told himself. "Tomorrow his popularity will be gone and everything will be back to normal."

**Part 2: Betrayal**

Percy felt so sad. So sad that he wanted to kill himself. Earlier today, he saw Annabeth kiss Chad. KISS!

_Cue Flashback_

_Percy was having a normal day at camp. Sure everybody practically ignored him because they thought his brother was better, but he was fine with that. I mean, Annabeth was still dating him (though he noticed that she often sneaked out) and a few of his friends were still talking to him. _

_But that was all about to change in the next two seconds. _

_Chad just got back from a quest and was holding up the head of a hell hound. He had a cocky grin on his face, showing off those dazzling teeth. The sleeves of his t-shirt were also ripped off showing everybody those chiseled muscles. "I just defeated a hellhound in 20 seconds, nice huh?" _

_Every girl swooned and some even fainted at his awesomeness. _

_At that moment, Annabeth decided that she loved the guy and proceeded to make out with him- in front of everybody! _

"_Why Annabeth?" Percy moaned. "Why'd you leave me?" _

_Annabeth glared at him. "Because Chad is cooler and more awesome then you. I decided that I'm into douchbags like him." _

_Percy then ran out of the camp, crying like the wimpy loser he is. _

_End flashback. _

Percy wiped the tears off his face. Why did this happen to him why?

A bright, white light suddenly enveloped his vision and a beautiful woman dressed in white was standing behind him. She serenely smiled at the betrayed demigod.

"Hello Perseus," the woman said in her calming voice. "I am Chaos. I have been watching you."

Percy stared back in awe. "What?"

The woman, or Chaos, continued to smile. "Since you lost the respect of your father, your friends, and your girlfriend. How'd you like to join my army? I could teach you a bunch of new tricks that would make you more powerful than the gods." She held out her hand.

I took her hand and toghther they descended into another dimension.

**Part 3: Chaos's Army and Training**

Percy couldn't believe his eyes. Demigods were assembled into a large field and were looking up at Percy with awe. He recognized some faces, including Lee Fletcher, Bianca di Angelo, Zoe Nightshade, and some other people that nobody cared about after they died.

"Percy Jackson has joined the Army of Chaos!" the woman said.

Cheers broke out from the assembled crowd.

"From now on, he should be treated as your equal. Like you, he has been betrayed by the people that are closest to him. In remembrance of this event he shall be known as Void/Omega/Zero/insertequallystupidname (I'll use Zero in this case). He will also be my personal assassin!"

"Wow," Zero thought. "This sounds so cool!"

Chaos then clapped her hands and the crowd of people disassembled. She turned to Percy and now you train. You have a lot of work ahead of you. She whistled and a young girl instantly appeared.

The girl was drop dead gorgeous. She had black hair as dark as the night sky and ruby red eyes. She had a curvaceous figure and was wearing a black tank-top and a pair of shorts. Two daggers were slung at her side and she radiated an aura of power and beauty.

In other words, she was a Mary-sue.

Chaos smiled. "Zero, this is my daughter Andromeda Diamond."

Andromeda smiled at Percy.

There was an odd feeling inside Percy's chest. It almost felt like…love?

"Andromeda will be your training partner from now on. She is the strongest of all the people here."

To prove her point, Andromeda unsheathed her dagger and threw at at an apple that magically appeared. It went straight through.

Percy was shocked. Yep, he definitely needed to date this girl.

_8 months later…_

Percy was barely recognizable after his training. He got more handsomer and stronger. Not only he learned how to fight with a variety of weapons, he knew how to do magic.

He could now control the earth, air, fire, and a bunch of more elements. He had gained the power to control time and space. He knew how to talk to all animals, not just sea animals. He exerted and aura of leadership and coolness.

Oh, and he and Andromeda Diamond were now dating.

One day, Chaos called Percy to her room.

"Zero, today is the day where you must save the world. Kronus has risen again and is attacking Camp Half-Blood. You must apply the skills that you learned and use it for good."

Percy nodded. "Yes ma'am." He then boarded a black futuristic-like spaceship and headed off towards Camp Half-Blood.

**Part 4: In which, Percy flaunts his awesomeness**

Both the gods and demigods were tired. Bodies of the fallen littered the ground and the remaining were cornered at the big house. Kronus has managed to reincarnate in the short amount of time that has passes and was currently invading Camp Half-Blood.

But when all hope seemed lost, a black ship landed on the grounds, coincidentally landing on Chad Bender, killing him.

A man wearing a black mask came out of the ship and demolished every monster, including Kronus with his super awesome powers. The monsters died and went back to Tartarus.

The gods and demigods were all shocked by the arrival of the newcomer. They threw themselves at his feet and began to worship him.

"Oh great one!" Zeus cried. "Would you kindly take off your mask so we can see who's out savior?"

The mysterious man obliged and took of the black mask and to everyone's surprise, it was Percy Jackson.

"Percy!" Annabeth said. She ran up to him and planted a kiss on his cheeks. "I'm SO sorry for abandoning you. I have now realized that Chad isn't the right one for me and I love you."

"My name's not Percy anymore," the boy said. "Its Zero and I am Chaos's assassin. And don't try and get me back- I already have a girlfriend."

At this statement, Annabeth cried like a little girl and ran away with tears in her eyes.

**Part 5: The End**

And so, Percy and Andromeda lived happily ever after and had three children with the Greek gods acting as their servants.

As for Annabeth, she died a lonely old maid.

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**This is basically how almost all Chaos stories end up as. The only thing that differentiated them was the gender of Chaos and who Percy ended up with. **

**I might make another story/chapter dealing with the overused cliches of the PJO fandom. If I have time that is. **


End file.
